What do you do when you don’t feel fulfilled by your job?

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Lately, I’ve been wondering what the hell I’m still doing at my job. I work as a communications manager in a small association in a small town in France. I’m also taking classes for my master’s degree.

It’s hard to be a student and work at the same time, but I have to do it, since I can’t pay my school fees or any other life expense otherwise. In July, I found the job I currently have and since I wanted to work in the non-profit, I was thrilled. It doesn’t pay much, but at least, I thought, “you’ll be able to learn a lot, and do a lot”.

I was given things to do, told I had the green light to pitch ideas and show them what I can do. It was awesome and everything I dreamt of…on paper… today I know it was all talks. They needed someone, and I was there so they sold it to me and I fell for it.

Today, I have no other choice but to stay and do what they ask of me, otherwise, I’ll find myself living on the streets. I’ve been depressed lately, disgusted by the lies fed by the employers just to use you. I haven’t been able to pitch any of my ideas because none of my bosses are willing to be open-minded to hear them, there’s always a “yes…but I prefer you do it my way” attitude towards my work.

So what do I do? How do I keep doing a job where I don’t feel valued? Have any of you ever found yourselves in this situation? What happened then?

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Why I stopped caring what people think of me

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“It makes me think of them cows, you know…” said this guy, about a month ago; he was referring to my septum piercing.

It got me thinking about all these negative comments that one gets from people that absolutely have no business telling you what to do with your life. I am the kind of person who always finds the good in people, not because I’m a sickening optimist, far from that, but I just believe that even the worst of us has a “good” side, as small as that might be.

Growing up, I was misunderstood. Someone always had something negative to say to me. I got bullied a lot. That forced me to seek out my true self and stay real. I learned to fend off the negativity. It taught me that you can’t possibly know what people are going through, that a smile to a stranger, a nice word to a friend or a co-worker, as meaningless as it might seem to you, can change their entire day.

Being real with myself and loving myself with all my faults – I have plenty – helped me understand that no matter what another person might say to me, I’ll never let it get to me again – I simply stopped caring. Nowadays, I’ve really mastered the art of not caring, unless your comments are racist, sexist, and misogynistic and other crap, then it’s a whole different story. I realized that no matter how “perfect” I try to be, someone will always have some sort of idea on how wrong I’m living my life, so I decided that my life was my own and I am going to live the way I want.

So after reading this, if you go out, smile to a stranger, or if you’re having friends over, tell them how much you appreciate them. I bet it will feel good and up someone’s mood. And next time someone tries to bring you down with negativity, just remember, you’re AWESOME.

Until next time, stay true to yourself.

My passion for writing

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Remember when you were young and the adults asked you what you wanted to be when you grow up? Well, don’t lash out on me, but till the age of 6, I wanted to be a bank robber. Yes you read it right, a bank robber. I wanted the adrenaline and the whole thrill that comes with the rush of robbing a bank.

At the age of 10, I realized that it was a great hustle planning for a robbery; I mean you have to find a trustworthy team and make sure no one screws you over and makes sure you end up behind bars. And with my shitty luck, I knew somehow I would end up in jail if I went down that road. So I grew another passion: WRITING.

I started seeing myself become this big world renowned best seller author or at least end up being such a great journalist that I would win a Pulitzer.

Well, 15 years later, I ended up in the communication industry. I don’t write as much as I used to, I still fantasize about a good old fashion bank robbery, but I haven’t lost hope yet. I can still win some kind of prize one day.

All this to say that life will take you on paths that you had never thought of. It will make you make choices that will drastically, or not, change your way of seeing things and incite you to do things differently.

I don’t regret not becoming a journalist; I still work with journalists on a regular basis in my job. So live your life the best way you possibly can and don’t worry, you will always somehow find yourself on the path that you set out yourself to follow. I mean here I am writing, right?

Till next time, you’re beautiful and awesome and everything is going to work out for you.

What feminism means to me

I have always been a feminist. For me feminism is more than just fighting for equal rights, it’s also about respecting my felow women’s choices.

I’ve heard a lot of women criticizing other women for doing things differently, or just not doing it the same way. For example, I hear often other women around me that do not want to have kids criticizing women that have chosen to have kids, and the other way around. Once there was a woman who told me that shaving my legs was a societal influence and I shouldn’t do it if I really am a feminist.

I respect women that shave their legs and those who don’t, those who are moms and those who are not, those who got married and decided to keep their spouses’ last names and those who have decided otherwise. I respect all women and the choices they make, weither those choices are opposite to mine or not. It’s called diversity, and accepting everyone the way they are. That’s what feminism is to me.

Not long ago, Emma Watson was criticized for not wearing a bra in her latest Vanity fair cover and showing parts of her breasts. Some even said she betrayed the feminism cause. Really ? I mean, a woman should be able to show her breasts without being harrassed about it, men do it all the time.

I read an article about how Angelina Jolie’s fans were mad she dared to meet the Archbishop of Canterbury braless. Come on people, since when things like that matter? Going braless or not, wearing makeup or not, shaving or not, and what’s not, that’s what feminism is all about to me. It’s about having a choice and doing what it is right for yourself.

Respect all the women and empower each other, make sure we have each other’s back and only then can we actually achieve something.

Until next time, stay positive!

I don’t want kids, it doesn’t make me any less of a woman

Today, I’m going to talk about motherhood or more like un-motherhood.

I’m 24, I’ll be 25 in May and I decided years ago that I was never going to have kids and I still feel “womanly”. I mean the idea that a woman’s life is complete when she has a kid is grotesque. Plus, having a kid doesn’t make you a good “mother”.

When I say this, I get lots of mixed reactions, confusion, misunderstanding, etc. the picture above says it all. I’ve never had the “mother instinct”, I don’t automatically smile when I see a baby, plus I really think babies are ugly and a lot often creepy. We don’t say it out loud, but come on, doesn’t it feel awkward when the baby in the stroller next to you on the bus is just weirdly staring at you?!

The world is already overpopulated, I don’t feel the need to add on to that. I always hear, “you’re still young, wait till that hormone clock starts ticking and you’ll want to have kids” or even more ludicrous “come on, you have a uterus for a reason, so use it”, really, seriously? Who said that women are made whole when they push a human out of their body? I made a choice and I made it consciously and well aware, thank you. Who are you to explain to me how I should feel or use my body?

I have the utmost respect for mothers, hell, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my own, I think good ones do a great job. A job that is definitely not easy on a daily basis, and I think mothers deserve a lot of credit than what we give them, but I don’t believe in the motherhood archetype. I read this somewhere, and it echoes my thoughts, “Some of us end up parenting in other ways : we birth art, ideas, friendships, meaningful work and weird, wild love. We are each the GUARDIANS OF OUR OWN GREAT PURPOSE.”

So next time I say,”I will never have kids”, that is ME and the way I feel, so don’t judge me or try to convince me I should do my duty as a woman, I’ll be busy writing, and travelling, and making new friends and dreaming, thank you.

Until next time, stay positive.

Why I decided to become a vegetarian

I can’t recall the last time I ate meat ! I’ve been a “total” vegetarian for over a year now and by total vegetarian, I mean no meat or fish and no eggs.  Still gathering my strength to go vegan, which could be easy if only I could keep my hands off those Ben & Jerry’s ice cream pots. I know! I just can’t help myself.

Anyway, I didn’t decide overnight to become a veggie. It’s something that had been on my mind for quite a while. I remember being 13 and coming home from school and finding this beautiful sheep in my backyard. He was extremely nice, and so gentle. I named him “KIKI”, I also had a monkey when I was younger that I had also named “KIKI”, go figure. So, I played with Kiki all afternoon, went to sleep and when I woke up, Kiki was dead…gone… just like that.

I realized later on in the day, that he was my lunch. I didn’t eat him. I never ate any sheep meat from that day on, and later decided to never taste any rabbit or lamb meats. Years later, I found out I was allergic to porc and cut that off too. The only meat left on my diet was beef , chicken and fish. And last year, I decided to cut them off too.

Part of the reasons I decided to go veggie, is the cruelty that these animals are put through. I couldn’t bare the thought of giving my money to an industry that puts any living breathing being through such pain anymore, and the other reason was all the environnemental issues that come with eating animal flesh. But most importantly, I felt better in my skin. I didn’t need the meat, I realized. And that’s what I want people to understand.

I had already adopted cruelty free cosmetics brands (skin care, make up, etc) a long time ago, and this was my next step.

I always get weird stares and all these questions whenever I mention I’m vegetarian:”…but you’re human, it’s human nature to eat meat, how can you not?”, “are you sure you don’t miss it?”, “I am sure you’re doing it to loose weight, I can’t see no other reason for you to not eat”… But, I am not trying to loose weight, my body is great, I don’t miss it, I just don’t want to eat meat. It’s not only my desire but also, it’s somehow my small contribution to this beautiful planet.

Becoming vegetarian shouldn’t be a decision taken because you want to loose weight, or just because it’s a trend. It should be a decision that you’re making consciously. Talk to your doctor and/or a nutritionist when you feel ready to make the transition. Unlike me, some people can’t imagine a meal without meat.

So, go veggie. I mean, how can you not 🙂 (see what I did there).

Until next time, stay positive.

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